Conclusion
As couples grow in their commitment to one another and move closer toward marriage, it is critical that they get comfortable discussing the issues and questions posed in this lesson. Your happiness and future success are at stake.
Do not ignore warning signs that worry you. Do ask questions and work with your partner to move toward a more solid relationship before making that final commitment.
It may be cliche, but as we mentioned at the start of this lesson, knowledge is power. You now have the power to create great positive change in your relationship now and in the foundation you build a marriage relationship on.
Coming Up in our Final Lesson
Lesson 4 dives into love! What it is, the process of relationship development, what intimacy is and why it is important, love types and love languages. We end with the relationship maintenance skills of self-expansion and connection rituals.
Take Action
- This coming week identify 3 areas that you want to improve in your relationship.
- Discuss with your partner ways that you can work together and individually to make those improvements.
- Discuss what improvement looks like to each of you.
Special Note
This lesson has not included information about physical intimacy, which is an important part of a marriage relationship. Prior to marriage, these are crucial intimacy topics to learn about and discuss with your partner.
It is critical to understand that movies and pornography do not accurately depict sexual intimacy. To have healthy and realistic expectations in your relationship, find quality education sources that teach the female and male sexual response cycles and common struggles in developing this aspect of intimacy.
Included below are some resources to get you started. It is important not to shy away from this topic. Knowledge is power and establishing open communication about physical intimacy early in the relationship will help you moderate your unrealistic expectations and instead work towards a truly satisfying relationship.
Starter Resources about Physical Intimacy:
Deepen Your Learning
Beeney, J. E., Hallquist, M. N., Scott, L. N., Ringwald, W. R., Stepp, S. D., Lazarus, S. A., Mattia, A. A., & Pilkonis, P. A. (2019). The emotional bank account and the four horsemen of the apocalypse in romantic relationships of people with borderline personality disorder: A dyadic observational study. Clinical Psychological Science, 7(5), 1063–1077. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702619830647
Carver, J.M. (2003, September 27) Are You Dating a Loser? Identifying Losers, Controllers, and Abusers in Relationships. Counselling Resource. https://counsellingresource.com/therapy/self-help/loser/
Gottman, J.M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work (2nd ed.) Harmony Books
Lauer, R. H. and Lauer, J. C. (2012). Marriage & family: The quest for intimacy (Eighth edition). McGraw-Hill.
Maturlu, N. (2025). Silent killers of love: The toxic power of unspoken and unrealistic expectations. Journal of Positive Psychology Agapology and Spirituality, 1(2). https://doi.org/
Van Epp, J. (2007). How to avoid falling in love with a jerk: The foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind. McGraw-Hill.