Core Values
"If you have a solid sense of who you are and what you believe, then acting with integrity for others' sake increases your sense of self."
(Haglund, 2014)
Core Values are the traits and desires deep within you that guide how you behave and interact (alone and with others). These values help you to make decisions about how to spend your time and live your life. Your purpose and direction are linked to your core values, and how you feel about yourself is linked to how you choose to follow them. We can find great meaning in our lives by identifying and living by our values (Harris & Aisbett, 2014).
Knowing our core values will allow us to always self-reflect and ask, “Is this action, behavior, thought, or decision moving me toward the life I want?”
Cognitive dissonance is a term you may have heard. It is when who you think you should be, or want to be, conflicts with how you are actually behaving. When we make choices that don’t align with our deeply held values, we can feel increased anxiety and anger. We might spend more time trying to rationalize our choices or minimize their impact.
It is important to pay attention to how we feel because our emotions, when pondered, help us to see where we might be misaligned and can help us see what we truly value (David, 2017).
"Be open to difficult emotions, to create a response that is values aligned."
(David, 2017)
Core Values Activity
This activity will help you learn about and narrow down the values that are most important to you. There are a variety of values. You can find many comprehensive lists through a Google search. For this activity, you can use the provided list.
Print them and cut them out if you can. Or you can write them on notebook paper and cut that into strips.
Values Card Sort Instructions:
Written Core Value Card Sort Activity Instructions:
You will sort the cards into 3 piles: most important to me, important to me, and not very important to me. Don’t spend too long thinking about each value, as you decide which pile to put it with. Spend a few minutes sorting all your cards into one of the three piles.
Our goal is to end up with around 5 “Most important” values. If you have more than 5-7 cards in your most important pile, run through the exercise again or determine which to eliminate. Sometimes you will see that there are values that overlap or align well with each other. Picking one out of those in a similar category can help you reduce your total.
Once you have 5-6 cards in your “Most Important” pile, congratulations! You have identified your current core values.
Write them down in a note on your phone or a sticky note on your bathroom mirror. As you ponder them, think about your life and how you are already living in ways that align with them. When you have decisions to make, or problems and frustrations to face, review your values and ponder how you can respond in ways that align with them closely. Remember, these values are meant to be helpful. They should not make you feel stuck.
Our values can change over time. Redo this exercise when you feel you need to, and at least every few years, to help you see if any values have changed and which values have stayed the most important to you over time.
You can also follow this digital card sort if you are unable to use the papers, however the assortment of values differs from the printable set offered.